


Apartment For Rent: 1 Bed, 1 Bath, 1 Ghost

by fangirl_squee



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, background adaire/hella/adelaide, background throndir/ephrim and throndir/red jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee
Summary: Lem’s friends say his new apartment might be haunted, but he doesn’t believe it. Not even when the ghost tells him so.
Relationships: Fero Feritas/Lem King
Comments: 11
Kudos: 25





	Apartment For Rent: 1 Bed, 1 Bath, 1 Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> happy halloween-week!!

Lem let out a long breath as he surveyed the room. It was still half-unpacked but getting all his books on the shelves had really made his new apartment really feel like  _ his _ . He gave himself another moment to admire his work before he turned to tackle setting up his record player. Lem hummed to himself, feeling pleased, even if he did still have to unpack all of his clothes.

There was the noise behind him of something falling and he turned quickly to see the shelf that he had previously filled with books was now empty. Lem frowned, stepping closer - they had fallen back into the box he’d unpacked them from.

Strange. He was sure that he’d moved that box away from the shelf, too.

He shrugged, putting the books back on the shelf and flattening the box to stack it with the others against the wall. Perhaps the shelves in the lounge had the same issue as the kitchen pantry. He’d had all sorts of problems getting things to stop sliding off of the shelves and back into their boxes in there. The apartment must have a slight slant to it. That would explain why the estate agent had said they’d had so much trouble getting a tenant, and why the rent was so much cheaper than he would have expected.

Finally finished, he stretched his arms above his head and headed to have a well deserved hot shower.

The pipes clanked a little, only to be expected in such an old building. He sighed at the pressure and heat of the water, letting his eyes drift closed for a few moments before he sighed, fumbling for a towel.

There were odd streaks on the mirror when he got out. It was funny, the way droplets of water could almost look like they formed words. He wiped the steamed-up mirror and his glasses with the corner of his towel and thought nothing else of it.

Despite how tired he was, it took him awhile to get to sleep, getting used to the noises of the apartment settling, the sounds of other people who were above and below his apartment. He felt himself drift off, the person on the floor above him still pacing back and forth-

Only to be woken up at three in the morning but a loud  _ BANG _ . Lem blinked awake, frowning at the ceiling for a moment before the noise came again from somewhere towards the kitchen. He grabbed his glasses and the biggest book he’d had by his bedside for defence, slowly making his way towards the source of the noise.

The sound came again as he reached the kitchen door. Lem paused, the book held high as he reached around the doorframe to flick on the lightswitch.

A man around his own age turned towards him, slamming the kitchen cupboard door closed to create the loud noise, making the half-dead herbs Lem had positioned along the windowsill jump.

"What- who are you?"

"I'm Fero."

"You're Fero," said Lem, "That's- what are you doing in my apartment?"

Fero blinked. "This is my apartment."

"What- It is  _ not, _ " spluttered Lem.

"It is so _. _ "

"It is not!"

"It is  _ so _ !"

The windows of the kitchen began to rattle, the kettle shaking against the counter. Lem rushed to the doorway, bracing his arms inside the frame.

Fero frowned. The shaking stopped.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean am I doing, that was an earthquake," said Lem, "That's what you're supposed to do."

"That wasn't an earthquake," said Fero, "that was me."

Lem folded his arms, then quickly unfolded them to put them back against the doorway. He gave Fero a skeptical look.

"I suppose you think you can scare me out of my own home by telling me you have superpowers?"

"I don't have superpowers," said Fero, "I'm a ghost."

"You really expect me to believe that?" said Lem, "I can  _ see  _ you."

"Yeah," said Fero, "that  _ is _ weird." He paused. "You're not a ghost too, are you?"

"I am not, because ghosts aren't real," said Lem.

Fero raised his eyebrows. "And people say  _ I'm _ rude.”

"If you're a ghost," said Lem, "prove it."

Fero wrinkled his nose. "Prove it, what are you, twelve?"

Lem folded his arms, trying to draw himself up as much as possible. "So you  _ can't  _ prove it then?"

Fero huffed a breath, his hands arching through the air as he gestured. "Prove it  _ how _ ?'

"Do… ghost stuff?"

Fero laughed. " _ Ghost stuff _ ?"

"You're the one pretending to be a ghost!"

Fero's expression clouded again. "I'm not pretending! I am a ghost!"

"Oh, of course, that makes much more sense than you being someone who broke in," said Lem.

The lightbulb flickered, making the shadows in the room jump as the light returned.

"I am a ghost!" yelled Fero.

"Then  _ prove  _ it," said Lem

"Fine!" snapped Fero.

The lightbulb flickered again, the light of it shining bright before the bulb exploded, plunging the kitchen into darkness. Lem let out a yell, covering his face. After a moment, he gingerly lowered his hands. The kitchen was still dark, the faint light of the streetlight illuminating the edge of the counter.

"Fero?"

He listened for a moment. The house was still, the only sound from outside, a car passing the end of the street.

Lem carefully edged around the room, fumbling in the drawer for a torch. He shone the beam of light around the kitchen, but there was no sign of Fero.

"Told you so," said Fero's voice, right by his ear.

Lem wheeled around. There was no one there.

He searched through the rest of the apartment, but Fero was nowhere to be found. The door was as locked tight as Lem had left it when he’d gone to bed, as was the window to the fire escape. Lem gave up his search sometime around sunrise, sitting down on the couch to rest his eyes for five minutes and blinking awake hours later and very nearly late for class.

“Oh jeez, oh no, oh jeez,” said Lem, racing around the apartment, trying to stuff his books and laptop into his bag and narrowly missing tripping over a box on his way out the door.

He didn’t really think about his strange night-time interaction with Fero again until he was on his way home that afternoon. He looked up, trying to see if he could figure out which apartment was his, and he saw Fero, perched on the windowsill of the fire escape. Fero waved, grinning.

Lem let out a shout, racing up the stairs of his building and bursting through the door of his apartment.

It was empty. Oddly, Fero hadn’t disturbed any of the dust on the windowsill when he’d sat on it, nor had he broken in that way.

Lem frowned. “Fero?”

There was a burst of music from the record player and Lem hurried to turn it off, carefully putting the record back in it’s sleeve (although, he was  _ sure  _ he’d done it last night). He carefully looking the record player over. It didn’t  _ seem _ to be broken, but maybe the electricity was just weird in the building.

It would certainly explain the way lights turned on and off of their own accord through the apartment. It  _ might _ have explained why the microwave’s timer kept resetting, or the way the kettle would turn on by itself.

Unfortunately, it wouldn’t explain why Lem’s things seemed to move around. Perhaps it was just his own absent-mindedness that meant his toothbrush was always on the opposite side of the sink to where he thought he’d left it, or why he’d wake up to find all of his mugs out of the cupboard and stacked into a tower on the table, or why he kept finding that his books had been taken out of alphabetical order and arranged so that all the titles beginning with the letter ‘F’ were first on the shelf.

Not all of the absent-mindedness was annoying. His plants seemed to be doing better, despite how often he forgot to water them. The light in the kitchen must be better for them than in his previous place, he decided.

It wasn’t just his plants either. Once, he’d fallen asleep at his desk and woken to find a blanket draped over his shoulder, his glasses folded next to him instead of crushed under his face, which was usually happened.

Lem rubbed his eyes. “I suppose I should go to bed.”

“Yeah probably,” whispered a voice by his ear.

Lem turned so quickly in his chair that he almost fell out of it. The room behind him was, of course, completely empty.

“Whoa,” said Throndir, when Lem told him about it the next day, “It kind of sounds like you have a ghost.”

“Sounds like you’re losing it,” said Ephrim flatly.

Throndir waved a hand. “Don’t listen to him-”

“Oh, no, you’re probably right,” said Lem, “I mean, ghosts aren’t real.”

“They might be,” said Throndir.

“You only say that because your boyfriend’s a cryptid hunter,” said Ephrim.

“Only one of them,” said Throndir, “My other boyfriend is the world’s biggest skeptic, so I think it evens out.”

He took Ephrim’s hand, and Ephrim’s flat expression softened slightly.

“It doesn’t,” said Ephrim, clearly fighting a smile, “Are you sure there’s just not something wrong with your wiring?”

“That’s what I thought,” said Lem, “but the building’s super has been in to check things like three times and they haven’t found anything.”

“Well, maybe you  _ should _ get a second opinion,” said Throndir.

“What, from the ghost?”

“No,” said Throndir, “You remember Hadrian? His friend Hella used to be a ghost hunter for a while, I bet if you asked she could take a look at it.”

Throndir dropped Lem home that night. Both he and Ephrim insisted on coming upstairs to see Lem’s potentially haunted apartment. As soon as Lem opened the door, he could hear the kettle boiling.

“Oh jeez,” said Lem, rushing to turn it off.

“Uh,” said Ephrim, “Lem?”

Lem turned, his eyes widening. His two old kitchen chairs were both on the table, Lem’s mugs placed in a ring on the seats, one of the herb pots placed in the centre of the ring.

“I’m more concerned about  _ that _ ,” said Throndir, pointing behind Lem.

In the steam on the window, someone had written  _ i am really here _ .

Lem jumped as Ephrim put a hand on Lem’s shoulder.

“Listen, I don’t believe in all this-” Ephrim waved a hand “-ghost stuff, but… maybe you  _ should  _ call Hella.”

Hella arrived soon after Lem called, a woman she introduced as Adaire in tow. Adaire glared at Lem as he let them in the building.

“Um. Hi?” said Lem.

“You came out of retirement for this guy?” said Adaire.

“Oh, sorry,” began Lem, “Throndir didn’t say-”

Hella waved a hand. “I never, like,  _ retired _ -retired. I just don’t really do this kind of thing much any more, but it’s cool. Anything for a friend of Hadrian’s, you know?”

Despite the fact that Lem had met Hadrian exactly three times in his life, he nodded. “Thanks. I mean, I’m not sure if I really believe in, you know, but it’s all been rather strange.”

“You don’t believe in ghosts,” said Adaire, “but you called a ghost hunter.”

“Not everyone is a believer,” said Hella, and they began to walk towards Lem’s apartment, “You weren’t.”

“Well, that was before-” Adaire pressed her lips together.

Hella grinned at her, and Adaire’s cheeks flushed slightly.

“Well it would be pretty stupid if I didn’t believe in your girlfriend,” said Adaire.

Hella grinned at her. “That’s so practical of you babe.” She paused outside Lem’s door. “So this is the place?”

“Oh, yes,” said Lem. “Why, do you… sense something?”

“I was, uh... waiting for you to open the door,” said Hella.

Lem’s cheeks flushed. “Oh! Right!”

He could hear the kettle boiling as soon as he opened the door.

“Oh not again,” said Lem, heading to the kitchen.

Hella and Adaire followed close behind, almost walking into the back of him as he stopped short in the doorway.

Fero was pushing himself up on the kitchen counter, leaning towards the window to write the words  _ I’m Bored _ in the steam there.

“ _ You _ !” said Lem.

Fero dropped back to the floor, turning to grin at Lem. “So you  _ can _ see me!”

“Of course I can see you, you’re right in front of me!” said Lem, “How do you keep getting in here?!”

“I live here!” said Fero.

“No you don’t-” Lem turned slightly to Hella and Adaire. “Look, I’m sorry, I thought it was a ghost but I guess it’s actually just been this insane person-”

“Hey!” said Fero.

The light flickered.

“-breaking into my apartment and messing with me for no fathomable reason-”

“ _ First _ of all,” said Fero, “This is my apartment and you only get to live here because I’m dead-”

“No you’re not!” said Lem, “You’re not a ghost! I can see you!”

“Uh,” said Adaire, raising her hand, “I  _ can’t  _ see whoever it is you’re talking to.”

“You brought a ghost hunter who can’t even see ghosts?” said Fero.

“I’m the ghost hunter,” said Hella, “and I  _ can _ see you.”

“Oh  _ finally _ ,” said Fero, “will you tell this guy to leave me alone?”

“What!  _ You _ should be leaving  _ me _ alone!” said Lem, “Stop breaking into my apartment!”

“How many times do I have to tell you!” said Fero, “I  _ live _ here!”

The kitchen light began to flicker rapidly, the kettle rattling against the counter as it began to boil again.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. Let’s just all calm down here,” said Hella, holding up her hands, “It sounds like there’s just been some, uh, miscommunication.”

“ _ I’ll _ say,” said Fero.

The kettle rattled again and Lem stepped forward to turn it off at the wall. It continued to boil.

“I can’t believe this is the thing you come out of retirement for and there’s  _ already _ a medium here,” said Adaire.

“This guy’s not a medium, he’s an idiot,” said Fero.

“Hey, I’m not- wait, what do you mean, a medium’s already here?” said Lem.

Fero gestured towards Lem. “See? Proving my point!”

Hella gently put a hand on Lem’s arm. “Lem, I don’t want you to freak out right now, but, uh, this guy’s a ghost.”

“There’s no such thing as ghosts,” said Lem.

“Rude,” said Fero and Adaire at the same time.

“I… don’t really know how much explaining I need to do here,” said Hella, “Usually when I meet other people who can see ghosts, they kind of… already know that they can see ghosts.”

Lem shook himself out of Hella’s grip. “He’s not a ghost! He’s just- just- he’s a weird man who keeps breaking into my apartment to mess with me!”

Hella looked back toward Adaire. “Can you, uh…”

“Can I what, make someone believe in ghosts?” said Adaire. She paused. “Actually, maybe-” Adaire took out her phone. “Lem, you and ghost guy go stand next to each other.”

Fero made a face. “What, why?”

“Because I’m going to take a photo,” said Adaire, “Ghosts don’t show up in photos, right? We all agree about that?”

“I… suppose so, yes,” said Lem.

He shuffled next to Fero. Even though Fero wasn’t touching him directly, the side of his body next to Fero suddenly felt very cold. Strange that he’d never noticed a draft in this particular spot before.

Adaire took the photo, holding her phone out to Lem. In the photo, he was standing alone in his kitchen looking vaguely uncomfortable.

“Well you’ve- that’s-”

“I could take one on your phone if you like,” said Adaire.

“Oh, selfie!” said Fero.

“Fero says take a selfie with him,” said Hella.

“Oh that’s a good idea,” said Adaire, “Do that.”

“Fine,” said Lem.

He frowned, trying to aim the camera properly. No matter how he tilted his camera, he couldn’t see to get Fero to appear next to him.

“Well that’s- it’s because of our difference in heights, obviously,” said Lem, “the angle is all wrong.”

“Oh,” said Fero, “here-”

He floated up so that their faces were level. Lem felt his jaw drop open, staring at the gap between Fero’s feet and the floor. He crouched, running his hand under Fero’s feet and above his head, stumbling backwards against the kitchen counter.

“You- you’re- you’re-”

“A ghost, yeah,” said Fero.

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?" said Hella.

"I don't know, I thought he’d take my word for it," said Fero.

“Oh my god,” said Lem faintly.

Adaire snorted, turning away to not do a very good job at covering up her laugh.

“So, what happens now,” said Fero, “do you have one of those ghost vacuum things or what?”

“I mean, I can help you move on if that’s what you want,” said Hella, “Or I could find you a new place?”

“You can do that?” said Fero.

“Sometimes,” said Hella, “I, uh- I helped this one ghost get out of this old mansion before they were going to knock it down.”

Fero made a face. “But I like it here.”

“Then stop messing with my stuff!” said Lem.

Fero laughed, holding up his hands. “Okay, okay! You never asked!”

“I- well that’s-” Lem spluttered, “It was implied!”

Fero laughed again, grinning up at Lem as he settled back down on the floor.

“Does… that mean you’ll let him stay here?” said Hella.

“I…” Lem looked between Fero and Hella, “I don’t know, it feels wrong to force someone to move on…”

“It is,” said Fero.

“But on the other hand, he is kind of a bit much,” continued Lem.

The light flickered.

“ _ I’m _ a bit much?” said Fero.

“I suppose I could always call you if he needed to… move out?” said Lem.

“Of course,” said Hella, “Fero?”

“Yeah, sure,” said Fero, “As long as I can keep staying here I don’t care.”

Knowing that Fero was a ghost did not make his appearance next to Lem when Lem didn’t expect it any less startling. Lem would blink and Fero would be beside him on the couch, complaining about whatever it was Lem was watching as though they were already mid-conversation and making the screen distort until Lem either turned it off or argued Fero into watching it.

The kettle still went off by itself, but now it was more likely to do it as Lem was coming home from work or as he was stumbling into the kitchen in the morning instead of during the middle of the night, Fero nowhere to be seen but a mug and teabag already waiting for him.

He still woke, sometimes, to a blanket around his shoulders that had not been there before, his glasses already neatly folded beside him.

"Oh," said Lem, "That was you."

Fero shrugged. "You looked cold."

"I was," said Lem, "I- thank you.” He paused. “Are you cold?"

Fero thought for a moment. "Sort of, but I think it's from being a ghost."

“How interesting, I wonder-” he broke off with a yawn.

Fero laughed. “Go to bed, nerd.”

Lem smiled, padding his way to bed. He blinked at the hallway light.

“Oh, Fero, can you-”

The light in the hallway flickered and then went off.

“Thank you,” said Lem sleepily.

Now, Fero only made banging noises if Lem slept through his alarm. It made for a much more peaceful sleep.

“So,” said Throndir, the next time they saw each other, “What happened? How’s the ghost?”

“Oh,” said Lem, “It’s fine, we’re actually sort of friends now.”

Ephrim turned sharply from where he was standing in line to order their coffees. “ _ What _ ?”

“I suppose I didn’t… I mean, I called Hella a few weeks ago, and she came around and sorted it out.”

“What,” said Ephrim, abandoning his place in line to sit back down, “the fuck doesn’t that even mean?”

Lem shrugged. “It’s sort of like having a housemate that doesn’t leave any mess and just sort of wants to hang out sometimes. It’s actually kind of nice.”

“But, aren’t you supposed to help them, you know-” Throndir lowered his voice “-move on?”

“I don’t know,” said Lem, “Hella asked him about it but he was pretty insistent on staying. I suppose it is a rather nice apartment.”

Throndir shared a look with Ephrim. “If this is what it’s like when a skeptic starts believing in ghosts, I’m kind of glad that you  _ don’t _ believe.”

Ephrim laughed, leaning back against Throndir on the couch. “So you have a ghost housemate now.”

“A ghost housemate who refuses to move on,” said Thorndir.

“He didn’t  _ refuse _ ,” said Lem, “He just didn’t want to.”

“I thought all ghosts wanted to,” said Ephrim, “Isn’t that the whole thing?”

“Maybe he still has unfinished business,” said Throndir, “You should get Hella to ask him.”

Lem turned the conversation over in his mind on the way home. It seemed pretty silly to get Hella to ask Fero something when Lem could just ask him himself. 

The house was warm as he walked through the door, a record playing quietly. Lem smiled.

“Fero?”

Fero’s head poked through the kitchen wall. “Hey.”

“Stop that,” said Lem.

Fero laughed, disappearing back into the kitchen. Lem followed. Fero was sitting up next to the sink, the afternoon light shining weakly through his transparent form. Lem could just make out the pots of herbs along the windowsill, growing fast enough now that he should probably think about repotting them.

“I was going to start cooking,” said Fero, “but last time you got so mad about it-”

“You could have started a fire!”

“I could have put it out, it would’ve been fine,” said Fero, “also, you’re out of potatoes and you’re basically out of milk.”

“I know, I’m going to the shops tomorrow,” said Lem, “Hey, Fero- do you have unfinished business?”

Fero frowned. “Unfinished what?”

“You know, the thing that you didn’t do that’s keeping you here,” said Lem, “I just thought, you know, since you were so insistent about not moving on-”

“I thought you said you were cool with me staying here?”

“I am!” said Lem, “But, you know, ghosts normally move on-”

“Like two weeks ago you didn’t even believe in ghosts and now you’re an expert?”

The kitchen light flickered.

“That’s just a ghost thing that everybody knows!” said Lem, “Ghosts want to move on!”

“Well I  _ don’t _ !”

“So you’re just going to stay in this apartment forever?” said Lem.

“If you don’t want me here, all you had to do was  _ say _ so,” said Fero, and vanished.

“Fero, that’s not- oh come on Fero, you can’t just disappear in the middle of a conversation!” Lem paused. “Fero?”

The apartment was silent.

It stayed that way for two whole days - no boiling kettles, no noises in the night, no missing things, no messages on the window, no music playing to cheer Lem up when he came home, no Fero prodding at him to go to bed at a reasonable hour. The plants on the windowsill looked a little wilted. It was, in a word,  _ terrible _ .

Lem got out of the shower at the end of the second day and stared at the steamy mirror. He went to wipe it away, drawing his towel back at the last second. He bit his lip, hip finger hovering over the fogged glass before he carefully wrote the words  _ I hope you’re still here _ .

“I am,” said Fero behind him.

Lem jumped, very nearly slipping over and managing to catch himself enough on the bath to sit on the ground instead of falling on it. Fero looked down at him, the clouds of steam floating through him.

“ _ Fero _ !” said Lem.

Fero folded his arms. “Yeah?”

“I-” Lem looked down. “I thought perhaps you’d… left.”

“Oh, like you want me to?”

“I  _ don’t _ want you to,” said Lem, “I want you to be  _ happy _ .”

“I’m happy  _ here _ ,” said Fero.

“I know but-” Lem waved a hand. “Being trapped in this apartment can’t be… I mean, it’s not ideal, surely.”

Fero sat down in front of him. “If I wanted to leave I’d get you to call Hella. I like it here.”

Lem pressed his lips together. “Really? I-” He looked down. “I suppose, I- people do tell me, sometimes, that I can be a little…”

“You are,” said Fero, “But I kind of like that.”

He touched Lem’s arm with cold fingertips. Lem inhaled sharply, looking up at Fero.

“I’m happy here with you,” said Fero, his voice quiet.

“Oh,” said Lem, “Me too.”

Fero smiled and Lem felt himself smile back, drawn forward, closer to Fero until-

His face passed through Fero’s, the sensation not unlike plunging into icy water. Lem pulled back with a gasp.

“Sorry, I-” Despite the cold, Lem felt his cheeks burn. “I wanted to kiss you.”

Fero laughed, leaning across. He carefully touched his lips to Lem's, the faint feeling of tingling-cold against Lem’s lips. 

He leant back. "There."

Lem touched his lips with his fingers. “Oh.”

“Good or bad?”

“Definitely good,” said Lem, “Just… strange, too. Did you…?”

“I could feel something, but it was…” Fero made a face. “I don’t know.” He paused, his expression shifting into a grin. “Maybe you should ask Hella for tips.”

Lem felt himself blush again. Fero laughed, putting his hand on Lem's, cold but present.

“We’ll figure it out,” said Fero, “I’ll be around.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi: mariusperkins on most places


End file.
